Must-Have Children’s Books on Grief, Empathy and Feelings
Must-Have Children’s Books on Grief, Empathy and Feelings
Talking with David Curnow on 612ABC Brisbane about books which explore feelings and in particular those which support young people who have experienced grief. Listen to the Soundcloud HERE.
I know I’ve posted about ‘grief’ books so many times now, but it’s a topic close to my heart; books which deal with grief and feelings have been very important to my own family and more widely speaking, I believe books such as these are incredible in developing empathy, understanding, compassion and kindness.
My family have experienced crushing grief in the last few years with the loss of my brother. We have felt the full gamut of emotions and through us, our children have also felt them. At the same time, we also deal with the Chief Bedtime Reader in our house, AKA daddy AKA #backboy living with chronic back pain which some days is crippling and life-altering and some days is just there as a part of him. He is never pain-free and our children witness this and deal with it and adore him. This morning ChickPea told her friend next door ‘my daddy can kill monsters’ and PudStar replied ‘Yep! Even though he has a bad back!’.
Our house is a happy place – full of laughter and shrieks of joy and screams of excitement, much rolling on the floor giggling with daddy about bodily function jokes. But we do read lots of books about feelings and about grief and far from being morose about it, we include these books as part of our normal day to day reading. PudStar often requests ‘Life is Like the Wind’ – it is gentle and affirming and yes, it’s about death. These books are just part of my family now, we read them alongside books which make us roll on the ground laughing.
And now with my teacher librarian hat on…here is a thought for all of you who are teachers or teacher librarians. A few years ago now, when we lost my brother and I suddenly acutely understood the loss of a parent (for my nieces), I stopped saying, ‘take this book home for mummy or daddy to read with you’ and started saying, ‘take this book home to read with someone who loves you‘. I cannot know the family situation of every student I come in contact with. I know I can’t shield children from every feeling of sadness but this seemed such a simple thing I could change and it is my hope that every child has someone in their life to who loves them and will read to them.
Children’s and YA Books on Grief
To add these books to your home, school or library collection click on covers or title links.
My full review of ‘Life is Like the Wind’ is here. Suitable for early childhood age range.
My full review of my all-time favourite book on grief, ‘Beginnings and Endings with Lifetimes in Between’ is here. Yes I have an all-time favourite book on grief. I’ve actually been reading this book for years and years…I just think it’s words are so perfect. Suitable for early childhood – adult.
‘Shine’ by Trace Balla is the most beautiful story about saying goodbye. it is a story about loss and grief for the very young and it is also about the everlasting power of love. I’m not even going to try and reveiw it, as Barbara Braxton did an outstanding job of that here!
‘The Wattle Tree’ below, is a particular favourite of ChickPea’s – despite the fact that she has not lost a grandma – see? Grief books don’t have to just be ‘somtimes’ books…though I don’t think grandma likes this one much! The illustrations in this book are divine. This is the story of Molly, a little girl who helps not only herself but her mother come to terms with the loss of Gran through connecting with the wattle tree at the bottom of the garden. Set over the course of several months, Molly makes repeated trips to the wattle tree. At first, her visits are to escape the sadness in the house as Mum is locked inside her own grief. Gradually, Molly draws strength from her visits and ultimately invites Mum to share in the experience so they can keep memories of Gran alive. Suitable for early childhood – lower/middle primary.
Books on Feelings
(there are hundreds of books on feelings…these are just my current favourites)
‘The Great Big Book of Feelings’ is one I like LOTS. It talks about all feelings and for some feelings it explains the range of that feeling for example a small sadness might be not being allowed to have an iceblock for dinner but a big sadness might be losing someone you love.
‘How Are You Peeling’ I have been using for SO.MANY.YEARS in early childhood classrooms. Vegetables are used to illustrate feelings – sounds odd but it is amazing! I prefer the hardback version here but it is half the price in softback here.
I am embarrassed to say that I dismissed Todd Parr books for a long time (sorry) until I read his one about families and adoption. His books are deserved best-sellers. This one comes as a book and also as flashcards.
Hi Megan, great list. Do you have any suggestions for a book for a preschooler that talks about having a sibling with autism? Found you via Eden. Great site. Xx
I’ve not forgotten you! I’m working on this! I have lots for older children where a sibling has autism – but not one yet for pre-schoolers!
Thanks for these, Megan. I have been thinking about buying a book for the kids that deals with or explains the emotions you go through when someone close to you dies. My husband’s father died suddenly weeks before our first was born. My husband attempts to keep ‘Papa’s’ memory alive, but I’m not quite sure that my four year old really understands it all. When she was about three, we lost my husband’s Aunt and we often talk about her too. My husband tells her they are with the stars. Anyway, I’m rambling. I’ll have a closer look at those books you’ve suggested and pick one up. #teamIBOT
Oh and good luck with David Curnow tonight.
They look great. We’ve been very blessed so far, in that we’ve not experienced real grief, but we know those who have, and it does leave the kids with questions. These might help answer them.
I love your lists and reviews. I usually buy one or two each time I read them and refer back as we add to our collection.
Thanks for the time and effort needed to keep people like me up to date and informed.
Thanks Megan, great help for a Child Psychologist like me. I have used Lifetimes for years, but glad to add more books to my collection. I also like Old Pig by Margaret Wild. I’m currently reading The Protected, my first YA book for years (other than Catcher in the Rye), on your recommendation. It is so beautifully written, thank you!
Thank you so much for your kind words! Isn’t The Protected remarkable? I adore it. Old Pig…HOW could I forget this one?! I love this one SO.MUCH.
Wonderful list, thank you for sharing. I love how you express these books are a part of your regular family life: ” These books are just part of my family now, we read them alongside books which make us roll on the ground laughing.” Beautiful!
Any suggestions on a book for toddlers about losing a pet?
Thank you so much for this wonderful resource. It was a lifesaver when our brother-in-Law passed away very unexpectedly. Beginnings and Endings and a lifetime in between is a brilliant book, very helpful. It gave us the framework to help tell our four year old daughter in a way she was able to understand.
I’m so very pleased you found this helpful at what I’m sure was an incredibly difficult time for you!
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